Star Wars
by RemyTheReaper
Summary: Combining Star Wars and massive amounts of beer isn't good for anyone...especially Kutner and Thirteen. T for suggestive content. KUDLEY


**A/N: So I had to write this. Really. I had to.**

Thirteen wondered how she had ended up this pathetic. Her idea of a good night had been going out and partying until she couldn't see her own feet. Now she was curled up on his couch, clutching a beer and staring at the TV screen in disgust.

"How can you watch this?" She asked, trying to make sense of the violent battle taking place on the screen.

"It's a classic! I still can't believe you've never seen it" Kutner exclaimed, shaking his head at Thirteen in mock disappointment. For the most part they got along extremely well now that she had relaxed a little and given up her old party lifestyle, but there was still one thing they could never agree on…

"Star Wars is NOT a classic! The notebook is a classic. Star Wars is just a bunch of delirious guys and men dressed up as giant fuzzy things" She took a long swig of her beer. This was too much, even for her.

"You know what? You just aren't drunk enough to appreciate this"  
"That's for sure" She downed the rest of her beer and set the empty glass on the coffee table. Kutner smirked, pausing the movie and leaving the room for a moment. When he came back he was grinning, a six-pack in each hand.

"I anticipated this problem" He set both six packs on the coffee table and Thirteen laughed reaching for another beer.

"Okay, this night has officially gotten much better"

It was later, they didn't know how much later, when they finally realized the movie was over. Littered around the couch were fourteen empty beer bottles, and on the couch were two very drunk doctors.

"That was like the best movie ever!" Thirteen slurred, a burst of laughter escaping her lips. Kutner nodded in agreement, swaying slightly to one side before jumping up off the couch and grinning madly,  
"Oh man! We should totally act the movie out! You can be Leia! And I'll be everyone else" He said waiting for Thirteen's approval.

"YES! Let's, lets, let's, lets yes, yeah, lets do that" She began laughing again standing up across from Kutner.

"No! I have to save you first! You have to wait!" He cried, pushing her back onto the couch. Then he got into position and began the act. His words were, for the most part, completely incoherent, as he flew around the room trying to play all the characters at once. Then, he hurried over to the couch, getting down on his knees in front of Thirteen who seemed mesmerized by the act.

"Leia, its Luke, I came to save you!" Thirteen laughed, catapulting herself at Kutner. In his drunken state he tumbled backwards and she landed on top of him, giggling like mad.

"My hero" She said seductively before smashing her lips into his. She expected him to kiss her back, but instead he gave a shove and she rolled off of him, landing on her back directly next to him.

"NO! THAT'S SO GROSS! YOU'RE MY SISTER!" Kutner screamed, pounding his heels on the ground and whining. Thirteen rolled her eyes, mainly because she was watching the ceiling fan go around.

"So fine I'll be um, um, um, um, um, um, that queen lady person" She rolled back on top of Kutner only to be shoved off again.

"NO! EWWW NOW YOU'RE MY MOM! GROSS! EWWW!!" Now Kutner was squirming around like a worm, the thought of kissing his "mother" obviously too much for him. Thirteen sighed,

"Well I don't…I don't I mean I umm I don't know any other girls! So you are going to have to choose Mister! And hurry up" She demanded, sitting up and pouting like a six year old. Kutner groaned,

"Oh my god! You're so horny! It's really annoying!" He paused seemingly realizing what he was saying, "No! I mean umm you can be Leia and I'll be Han Solo" Thirteen seemed to be fine with that because as soon as he had uttered the words she was on top of him again.

Somehow they found themselves in the bedroom, in a position they would never be in sober. She was fiddling with the button on his jeans (drinking didn't make her coordination any better…) when he spoke up,

"Man, the god thing about Han and Leia is that if Leia accidentally gets pregnant, their kid won't be all screwed up, cuz they aren't related." He said laughing stupidly as she finally got his jeans off.

"Well Leia won't get pregnant if Han uses protection" She said between placing kisses on his lips and running her hands along his chest.

"There's no protection in the middle of space! Duh!" Kutner said rolling his eyes. Thirteen stopped her kisses, trying to grasp the thoughts that were speeding through her mind at 1000 miles a minute.

"Well he had better…he better…um…. he better find some because no love no glove" She slurred in an attempt to sound stern. Kutner frowned,

"But what if he doesn't have any?"  
"You heard me! No…um…no…um…no…um…no love no love I mean glove. I think…" She rolled over so that she was no longer straddling him and laughed, trying to grasp the words floating around in her mind. As soon as her head hit the pillow though, there was only one thought.

"OooOoOoOo oooo, It's so soft!" She said, burying her face in the pillow and sighing contentedly. Kutner frowned harder,

"Leia no! You can't fall asleep! Leia!" He grabbed her arm and tried to shake her, but Thirteen was already passed out completely. Kutner sighed,

"You were more fun in _Revenge of The Sith _he grumbled, laying down next to her and smiling suddenly,

"It really is soft" he whispered before falling into a deep slumber.

The next morning Thirteen awoke with a pounding headache. She could only vaguely remember the night before. She and Kutner had both gotten really drunk watching Star Wars, and then…she couldn't remember. She hoped to god she hadn't driven home, or let Kutner drive her. Maybe her roommate Abby had come to pick her up? So then who was in the bed with her...

Kutner awoke to a loud shriek and felt someone jerk out of his arms. He groaned, fighting a pounding headache as he pried his eyes open and looked up to see who had disturbed his slumber.

"Whoa" Was all he could say. Thirteen was standing next to the bed glaring at him. She was wearing only her T-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. It looked like someone had tried to twist her hair into a bun on one side of her head.

"What the hell did we do last night?" She demanded, sitting down on the edge of the bed and clutching her head.

"Obviously not what you're thinking, cuz you still have half your clothes on." Kutner said dryly causing Thirteen to blush. She saw her jeans on the ground and picked them up. Much to Kutner's dismay she immediately put them on, fiddling with the button as she sat on the edge of the bed. The fiddling was familiar somehow, but he couldn't quite place it…

"The last thing I remember was watching Star Wars and drinking…a lot" She admitted, finally getting the button done. Kutner tried to remember past that. They had been really drunk and he had suggested…Suddenly his face turned bright red, and despite his efforts to look away Thirteen noticed,

"What?"  
"We were acting out the movie" His cheeks were burning as the rest of the memory came back to him, "You kept trying to make out with me, but I wouldn't let you because it was incest because I was Luke and you were Leia and then you were Queen Amidala but then you were Leia and I was Han and we were making out and we were gonna…" he coughed, "but then you fell asleep"

Thirteen stared at him silently for a moment, then threw a pillow at his head,

"We are NEVER watching that movie again"

**A/N: Lol. That's what they get for getting totally drunk. So please review and also if you're interested in joining the Kudley army we really need more people so PM me and I'll add you to the staff!**

**-Remy**


End file.
